Being Honest: Preparing Your Child For A Flu Shot
Years ago I told my sister “of course you need to tell your children about their flu shot this afternoon.” She called me after and said “It was a disaster. Everyone cried and one hid under the table. I will not tell them next time.” Well, sister, let me make up for that doctor’s appointment with a bit more information about the why, how and when to tell kids they need a vaccine.
Has that happened to you before? Have you left the doctors office with everyone in tears and you’ve sweat through your shirt? You’re not alone! Keep on reading and I’ll help you make it a little easier. When it comes to anxiety with medical procedures you need honesty WITH preparation. Also, if your child has had a bad experience with a medical procedure, it might take some time and many positive experiences to start to see the light with their coping skills.
One thing to remember is that you know your child best and each child is different. Some kids are easier going than others, some are extremely anxious, and others need all of the details. For most kids, it can be so helpful to practice what to expect with real or play medical materials so they have a chance to really understand and feel some autonomy.
When Should I Tell My Child?
This depends. Some kids are flexible and adaptable. They can find out the day before and it’s no big deal. I personally think kids cope better when they have advance warning, if possible. I have given my kids advance warning since they were 2 years old. You’re never too young for preparation.
With my own kids I casually mention it after I book the appointment. That might sound like this: “I just wanted you guys to know I booked your flu shot. It will be in two weeks, but I’ll remind you of all of the steps before it happens.” Cue all of the reactions they have to that news. My big feeling kid always gets pretty upset when I mention it. That’s okay to have big feelings, but it’s also my job to help him cope with those feelings.
How Do I Prepare My Child?
As I mentioned before, hands on preparation can be very helpful. You can use materials around your house like a small piece of paper towel to represent the alcohol wipe, a medicine syringe for the flu shot, and a piece of tape if you don’t have any bandaids. Letting kids explore medical materials can support their understanding as kids learn best through play.
Here’s an example of a script you can use if you decide to play this out with your child:
“Today bear needs a flu shot. I like to call it a poke. Do you remember the steps to getting your flu shot? Let’s help bear know all of the steps to his poke. What’s that bear? You feel a little nervous? That’s okay to feel nervous! You can be nervous AND brave at the same time! Sometimes we have to do hard things to keep our bodies safe and healthy.”
What will your child hear, see, touch, smell, and taste?
It can be helpful to think of the 5 senses when thinking about how to prepare your child with something that might be stressful.
If it’s at a doctors office, they may hear sounds of other kids crying and that might be triggering for their own nerves. Prepare for that.
They’ll see the medical equipment: alcohol wipes, bandaid, syringe with a needle
They may smell the alcohol wipe
They will feel the cold alcohol wipe, someone holding their hand or leg still, the pinch of the needle, the sting of the medicine
They won’t taste anything unless they have a treat set up for afterwards 😊
Identify What They Can Control
”You don’t have a choice IF you get this shot/poke, but there are choices you can make during the poke”
You can choose how you sit (alone, on my lap, on my lap while giving me a hug aka comfort hold)
You can choose if the nurse counts to 3 or if they just do it
You can choose if you watch or look away
You can choose the fun activity to look forward to when you’re done
Practice Coping Techniques
Practicing coping techniques before the stressful event can help kids access them while they are experiencing it.
Breathing and “blowing the ouchie away.” I encourage kids to take a deep breath while the nurse is counting or while cleaning with the alcohol wipe and then let that breath go or “blow the ouchie away.”
Holding a hand or squeezing a stress ball
Listening to music
If your child has any sensory processing needs, always bring those items that help them regulate to the stressful environment with you
Prepare for the shot
First, the nurse will wipe your skin so it’s super clean. You cannot touch your arm once it is clean. I will gently place my hand on your hands to remind you to not touch your arm.
Next, it will be time for the small poke. You will feel a small pinch and a little sting with the medicine. Remember, your job is to blow that ouchie away! It will be very quick (5 seconds) as you help the nurse by staying as still as a statue!
I know this might seem like a lot. You’re initial thought might be this is JUST a flu shot. I don’t mind if they scream for it and then we move on. You’re welcome to do it that way too. After working in the emergency department, I have noticed that kids who tend to cope well with their regular doctors office visits and procedures tend to cope better in an emergency experience (not always, but it can help!). I think vaccinations are great ways to teach your kids that they can cope with hard things. If your child has had difficult medical experiences in the past and needs additional support, please reach out and I am happy to support your child to build a foundation of coping skills.